Created Behind the Counter by Subpar Employee

If you like lists, you'll love Created in Darkness by Troubled Americans, a McSweeney's compendium. Lots of tasty lists up in that joint. If you ever shop here and think that we're behind the counter doing really smart things, the chances are about 80% that you're right, unless I'm behind the counter, at which point the percentage takes a nosedive worthy of Ethan Hawke's acting career. Often, I'm composing lists:

Top Ten Wrestlers Who Never Wore the Belt of Truth in the Christian Wrestling Federation, Due, Possibly, to the Lack of Imprecation in their Chosen Wrestling Names
1. The Wounded Prophet
2. The Crippled Beggar
3. The Witch of Endor
4. The Angel of Life
5. The Passover Lamb
6. The Scarlet Cloth
7. The Circumcised
8. The Good Samaritan
9. The Kinsman Redeemer
10. Nard

Top Ten Least Successful Wrestling Moves Employed by the Above
1. The Flying Scroll
2. The Flow of Blood
3. The Mound of Wheat
4. The Resounding Gong
5. The Gentle Rebuke
6. The Love Feast
7. The Useless Vine
8. The Threshing Floor
9. The Slanderous Accusation
10. Forgiveness

Top Ten Best Names* for Christian Blues Musicians Among Christian Blues Musicians who Randomly Opened the Bible and Pointed When Choosing a Christian Blues Musician Name
1. Tent Peg
2. Dry Bones
3. Withered Fig
4. Pentecost
5. Raisin Cake
6. Sackcloth
7. Gethsemane
8. Wineskin
9. Rooster Crow
10. Almond Rod

(*to test, add Johnson to the end of each name)