Four Words
posted by Subterranean Books @ 3:01 PM
Subterranean Books
Subterranean Books opened in 2000 on the Delmar Loop and has been a haven for book lovers ever since. We’re proud to have been selected Best Bookstore by the Riverfront Times five times, and we continue to offer the unusual, the classic, and the subversive to our customers. And hey, we’re independent, friendly, and growing. Check us out! The store can be contacted at 314.862.6100 or info (at) subbooks.com.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Subterranean Books
Subterranean Books opened in 2000 on the Delmar Loop and has been a haven for book lovers ever since. We’re proud to have been selected Best Bookstore by the Riverfront Times five times, and we continue to offer the unusual, the classic, and the subversive to our customers. And hey, we’re independent, friendly, and growing. Check us out! The store can be contacted at 314.862.6100 or info (at) subbooks.com.
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8 Comments:
Kelly, Kelly, Kelly,
Superman is DC; Wolverine is Marvel. They don't even live in the same universe. The more important question is who would beat whom in a battle to the death. Am I right, fanboys?
Superman has waaay better hair, and THAT'S what's really important.
---Kelly
Jason, you've posed a very interesting question. In fact, this is the sort of argument I live for.
All right, if it's a battle to the death, then here's how it plays out. Wolvie has adamantium claws, a substance that has been deemed unbreakable in the Marvel Universe; Supes is invulnerable to anything short of Kryptonite, which doesn't exist in the Marvel Universe. Let us set aside the questions of which universe (DC or Marvel) they're fighting in, and agree that they are battling in a dimension where all powers/weaknesses of the characters operate.
So, the crux of the matter is, "can Wolvie's claws penetrate Supes' body before Supes uses his heat vision to incinerate Wolvie faster than Wolvie's mutant healing ability can operate?" Wolvie has the ability to lift 500lbs according to the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe, which is clearly not enough strength to cut a swath through the Man of Steel, nor is that even enough force to batter Supes to death, as Doomsday famously once did (Supes got better). However, adamantium is unbreakable and those claws are razor sharp, and we did agree that all powers operate here. So, let's postulate that Wolvie can indeed slash through Supes' epidermis, which should shock the big lug. Wolvie's enhanced reflexes allow him to take advantage of this momentary lapse, and he gets another couple swipes in, yes? Now Supes is hurt -- that looks like lower intestine bulging out right there. Wolvie goes in for the kill (remember this moment here -- it's important on page 22 of our epic battle), just as Supes grabs him by the throat and lases him swiftly with the old heat vision, leaving our intrepid Canadian a little crispy around the edges. Then Supes punches him pretty hard right in the snoot -- Supes can hear Wolvie's skin re-knitting itself (it's that Super-Hearing of his), and knows that Wolvie is regenerating. He can also X-ray vision that hairy bugger and see that unbreakable skeleton, so he unloads a flurry of thousands of punches in under a second (it's that Super-Speed of his). Unbreakable skeleton or not, Wolvie's going nighty-night for a while -- as has been established in many a Marvel comic, Wolvie can be rendered unconscious with enough force, and Supes definitely has enough force. Fight over: Wolvie unconscious, Superman Victorious, America beats Canada once again and our northern borders remain secure for yet another hundred years.
But not so fast.
Remember, this is a fight to the death. Death! Superman does not kill. And what is Wolverine's famous catch-phrase? "I'm the best there is at what I do. And what I do isn't very nice." Wolvie's a stone killer, just like all Canadians. Supes is the big Boy Scout. At that moment mentioned above, when Wolvie goes in for the kill, he's really going in for the kill. Superman is never going to unleash a killing blow.
So the answer to your puzzler lies not in brute force or savagery or even who's powers are cooler, but in philosophy: When two warriors fight, the one who enters the fray with the willingness to kill and in turn fears not his own death is the warrior with the advantage, to paraphrase two thousand years of Zen samurai rhetoric. And Wolvie knows his Zen samurai rhetoric, as was established by Frank Miller in his classic Wolverine mini-series way back in the 80s. So, from the very first instant Wolverine and Superman face each other, the battle has already been decided: Wolverine can not lose, because he is the only opponent in this battle who can and will kill.
As for the hair, while I respect Superman's forelock curl, I think Wolverine's, um, "idiosyncratic" hairstyle is boss.
Paul
Amen, brother!
Bravo, Paul. That was just what I needed this morning.
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Having now seen the Superman movie myself, I have two thoughts.
1. I think Dan Brown would have a case against the Super writers if he wanted to sue. Clark of Smallville equals Jesus of Nazareth. He sacrifices himself for humanity, only to be “born again.” He begins his father’s work after a period out of public life. And so on. Then, Lois Lane stands for Mary Magdalene. Jason White is the real focus of the Priory of Sion. Luthor Teabing. But who’s Robert Langdon? Jimmy Olsen? Maybe not.
2. Super and Wolverine have something in common that I didn’t realize before—they both screw over James Marsden. In X-Men 3, Marsden’s wife basically “leaves him” (i.e. annihilates the poor soul) for Wolverine. In Superman Returns, Marsden is married to Lois Lane, and we all know that Superman is always the Christ to Lane’s Mary (see point one). The poor guy.
I disagree about James Marsden, see, 'cause he gets the girl in both. BOTH women decide to stay with the "good guy" insted of the exciting one. It's just unfortunate that one of them does annihilate him. Although, not REALLY intentionally.
---Kelly
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